How to Find Friends to Win and Influence



This riff on the uber popular book from Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People” leads us to an important topic that Eric Worre of “Go Pro” says is the first skill to master in your network marketing business: finding people to talk to.


In fact, whenever Jake and I speak to audiences of other network marketers, it is the #1 problem that people say they have: how to find people to talk to about their product, service or opportunity.


I built my business the “old school” way…making a list of all my family and friends and inviting them to an event where we could show them our product and opportunity.


Now, this was 22 years ago and those tactics weren’t considered “old school”! I went to the top of my company in a little over 2 years using these methods.


Times Change!

18 years later, when Jake joined our company, the methods I used (writing a list, calling friends and family, having “opportunity” meetings, etc.) were definitely “old school” and she wanted nothing to do with building a business that way.

She learned about using social media for prospecting…

…and blew up her business fast by being really good at social media prospecting and recruiting.


She reached the top position in our company in just 10 months! Wow! She took this new concept and flew by my track record.


Times keep changing!


These days, it seems like everyone you know is pitching something on their FB page, Instagram or Twitter…and mostly, they are doing it WRONG!

Are you doing any of these?

Posting pics of your product, service or company daily?

Sending texts of FB private messages to friends or family you haven’t been in contact with for years asking them to buy your product, service or join your team?

Reaching out to strangers asking if they’re “open to taking a look”?

If you are, you are what is killing Network Marketing!!

As one of our mentors says:

“A murder mystery has been solved!

The Internet did it!

With the Facebook dagger, the Internet over the past 10 years has slowly been pressing it’s sharp social blade into the very heart of ‘Old School’ Network Marketing and now it’s DEAD!

The scene of this murder???

Your Facebook News Feed!



LOL… Obviously, Ferny is having a little fun here.

But here’s what’s not so funny and I say this with all due respect to the legends of this profession:

Ignorance and fear is currently running amok among network marketing leaders.

In fact, I’m going to share an actual Facebook comment from a old school leader, which demonstrates ignorance on how online marketing, and social media work and it’s impact on network marketing today.

The times, they are a-changin’


It’s no secret that Blockbuster Video used to be massively successful, until they weren’t.

Now Netflix has taken over.

Taxi cabs used to be dominant, until they weren’t.

Now ride-sharing (Uber/Lyft) has taken over.

Kodak, Dell, Motorola, Sears, Yahoo, Sony, Xerox, Blackberry… once dominant… no more.

What Getting Left Behind Looks Like…

Now, as I mentioned before, I’m going to show you a comment that created quite an uproar in our community.

And no, I won’t tell you the identity of this person; my goal is not to embarrass this individual.

The real lesson here is regarding WHAT he said and WHY it presents an issue for his business…and a lot of other people who are trying to keep it “old school” in a new school world.

The context is that one of our members was using the Promoted Post feature on Facebook – a feature where you can pay a little money to Facebook to have targeted audiences see your business posts, resulting in lots of interested prospects reaching out, when done right.

This post by one of our members, showed up in this network marketing leader’s News Feed.

And he had no idea HOW this post was displaying there.

This was his comment…

“Not sure how this showed up on my Feed, but please take me off this. It gives my team the wrong info of what I teach them to be successful. And I know how to build solid teams. And it’s not by never meeting them, or never showing them that I care about their business. You will never replace person-to-person contact, and the people that get frustrated by that, are the ones not willing to serve their teams.”


Now, that is a pretty interesting comment.

This got posted it in our community and those of us who are in the online space, and are building our businesses this way, had a little bit of fun “joshing” about it, but the whole point was to pinpoint a real problem…

Traditional network marketing is plagued by ignorance!


Now, don’t get me wrong, this person is not a bad person and traditional networkers aren’t either.


A lot of great & smart people make mistakes or have opinions borne out of ignorance and this comment is an example of that.


So, to make sure we are “hip” to the times, I want to share with you, first and foremost, how Facebook works.


Facebook 101: Why Facebook isn’t (just) a social network

A lot of people in the network marketing space don’t understand what Facebook actually is, because Facebook is not just a social network.

In fact, the social aspect is second to what it actually IS, because Facebook doesn’t make money by being a social network, in and of itself.

Facebook is an advertising platform and that’s its primary product.


The ONLY way Facebook makes money is through advertising.

They refer to ad space as “inventory.” And what’s the inventory they’re talking about?

They’re talking about you and me — our news feeds to be more exact.


Their valuation is based on how many users they have, and their inventory is how many spots in our News Feeds & Sidebar they have to show ads in, (i.e. promoted posts).

Now, Facebook has a cool philosophy regarding their advertising and what they allow and don’t allow, because they don’t want to ruin our experience.

But at the same time…Facebookis a business


…and the ONLY product that they sell is advertising space.

And Facebook allows advertisers like me (and our members whom we teach this to) to target people (like you) on Facebook. It’s actually quite easy!


We are allowed to target just about anyone, according to your interests, personal profile information you willingly provided, who you follow, sites you’ve visted, etc.

In fact, in the Terms of Service, you gave up your rights to online privacy.

Thus, Facebook can track your behavior:

  • What you click on
  • What you buy
  • Who you like
  • What you watch

All that information is being tracked and can then be utilized by network marketers just like you, to target people, based on that data.

In essence…

You can target people based on their precise interests

So, as opposed to prospecting random people in public and hoping they’re interested in your opportunity, juice, or vitamins, or weight loss product…

You can specifically target people who are already interested in those things.

You can avoid the whole rejection BS all-together.

That also means Facebook allows you (and me) to target your downline, and in fact, target your entire company with training articles like what you’re reading right now. (DUN DUN DUUUNNNN!!! LOL)

And you may have noticed, if you’re in a traditional company, there’s likely attrition and people seem to constantly shifting and moving to other companies.

Maybe, even their disloyalty might piss you off!

However, it’s perhaps no surprise to leaders who are more business minded, that a few of the reasons people are moving to other companies might be because those other companies just might…

  • Be more progressive with regards to allowing distributors to use Internet strategies,
  • Have better systems for leveraging the Internet, and
  • Have better training for how to utilize the Internet to build.

Because here’s the thing about this “new frontier” of online network marketing…

It’s happening, whether you, your upline, or your company like it or not

Everything I’ve shared above are basic facts about Facebook.

So if this leader, (who posted that comment and didn’t like seeing an ad in his News Feed) and has a “beef” with this…it’s frankly not with me… it’s with Facebook.

Because we are using what Facebook was specifically created for to our advantage – in order to build our businesses, whether it’s network marketing, direct sales, coaching, juice, vitamins, weight loss or whatever.

So if you want to shield your organization from any outside information, the ONLY option you have is to completely BAN the use of Facebook within your team and organization.

That is the ONLY option, if you don’t want your team members discovering this new age of network marketing.


Seriously, if you don’t want this information, which may contradict how you think businesses should be built, to reach your downline, then you need to require your organization to shut down their Facebook accounts forever.

That is the only option…and it’s not a great option.

Your only viable option is to adapt

The smart thing here would be to instead ask, “How does this happen?”

This guy should’ve asked…

“How does this show up in my News Feed?”

The next questions he should’ve asked are…

  • How can I use this new technology in my business?
  • How can I take advantage of this?
  • How can I use this opportunity to grow my business?
  • What can I do?
  • Who can I learn from?

Network marketing seems to be the only industry which ignores innovation and tries to pretend that it isn’t happening.


And, if you’re trying to do that as a leader, how did that work out for Blockbuster Video?

Companies go extinct when they don’t serve the needs of the modern era.

That is what’s happening in the world right now, and you have to be hip to it.

It’s about time leaders in this industry

wake up

And ask themselves some serious and honest questions.

Again, good people are fighting these trends, just like the gentleman who wrote the above comment.

There are very smart, talented network marketers, who are choosing to make the wrong decision by ignoring what’s happening with technology today.

And networkers who are building online are crushing it, and they’re beginning to take over the industry because they offer a better product and that better product is not the opportunity or the juice, vitamins, weight loss plan, etc.


The REAL PRODUCTS are the methods leaders in that company are using to build the business online and their ability to train others in those methods and help them produce results.


Now I want to quickly break down that post, line-by-line, and make a few points.

I already talked about how it showed up in his News Feed and explained how Facebook works.

Okay, so first he asks…

Please take me off.


Well, we can’t take you off Facebook, only Facebook can do that.

Then he goes on to say…

It gives my team the wrong info in what I teach them to be successful.


That’s implying that we’re teaching people crap and that we’re giving people wrong info that’s not going to help them.

Nothing could be further from the truth

He also goes on to say…

And, I know how to build solid teams…

True, he probably does, even if it is painfully old school.

And it’s not by never meeting them, or never showing that I care about their business.

Once, again, implying that we’re teaching people to not to care about other people, and clearly not understanding the value we give to others on a daily basis.

He follows up by saying…

You will never replace person-to-person contact.

That’s not true.


We’re not opposed to meeting people face to face, but now, usually they were already part of our FB community and our training system, long before we even met.


In fact, a lot of people join network marketing organizations with leaders they’ve never met in-person.


Instead, they ‘met’ them online, through a Facebook group, or some sort of funnel, or some process that was entirely digital, where they said, “Yes, this is the place I need to be.”

They can have phone conversations, a video chat, whatever.

Or maybe, in some cases, they don’t have any personal contact at all, the prospect just says, “I want to work with this person. Let’s make it happen.”


Saying this business requires face-to-face contact is simply not true

The facts are in; they’re being proven every single day.

Look at 7-figure earners using online marketing who frankly out earn most of the old school “big names” of network marketing you see on stages and they’ve done it almost 100% online.


There are endless examples of people that have built large businesses online – digitally – without ever actually meeting people face-to-face.


But don’t confuse what these leaders did with spamming your newsfeed with crap about your company and causing your friends to unfriend you. How do you know the difference? If it’s not working for you and people are blocking/unfriending you, you’re doing it WRONG.

That being said, this business ultimately does require a personal touch, but it could be on the phone, it could be on video chat, it could be on Messenger.

Finally, the last part is…

“The people that get frustrated by that are the ones not willing to serve their teams.”

Again, the implication is we are not here to help people serve their teams.

Quite the opposite is true and people have figured that out.

Many successful network marketers today are serving their teams online

For instance…

They’re doing Facebook Lives.

They started Facebook Groups to provide information to their teams.

Clearly they’re interested in serving their teams, and they’re in constant communication with their teams.

The idea that somebody going online to build doesn’t care about anyone but themselves is bullshit.


Finally, I want to close with some comments from a leader named Tim, a six-figure earner, who’s part of our community.


He made this point regarding the comment we’ve been discussing.

He says…

I’ll be the first to admit that I used to think like this guy. I was all driven by fear and ignorance. Like someone said above, you don’t know what you don’t know. This guy clearly doesn’t know. Again, doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, he just doesn’t know. The idea that nothing replaces person-to-person is an old school, outdated mentality. What most of the ‘old schoolers’ won’t admit is how many people say “no” to this industry, and how many people quit, because it’s perceived as only person-to-person. People are busy. Either you adapt and provide your team with the know-how to build online, or they will find it elsewhere, possibly, on a new team, or a new company.

That is wisdom from a true leader in the network marketing space.

Everything people hate about network marketing is a symptom of the real problem

For the first time, the Internet is providing us the opportunity to conduct ourselves in a professional way, protect our relationships, and do what REAL businesses do.

And what do real businesses do?

They advertise and create systems so that the business can grow on its own.

That’s the main point I’m driving at here…

For the first time we have an opportunity, thanks to social media and thanks to the Internet, to conduct ourselves as professionals and avoid all the painful family issues, the rejection issues, people blocking you, ignoring you, or insulting you.

And in the process, we are IMPROVING the public’s heavily damaged view of network marketing.

Building Online is a Better Way and It’s Saving Your Relationships                                         & Network Marketing at the Same Time

Up until recently, people in network marketing just accepted that broken relationships and painful experiences with family and strangers was just part of being successful. I say that’s BS.

Challenges will always be a part of business, but we don’t need to unnecessarily create more problems for ourselves and that’s what traditional/old school network marketing has done.

So if you’re serious about building a business in today’s world, then I highly recommend that you check out our free online recruiting bootcamp.

These are the exact strategies Jake and I used when we first started learning online marketing.


More importantly, this community since it started in 2004 has literally spawned thousands of 6-, 7- and 8-figure earners in the home business space, when it was started by our mentors.

The Internet gives us the ability to find more people and social media give us the ability to expand our network.

So the question is… are you going to be Blockbuster Video, or Netflix?

Yellow Cab, or Uber/Lyft?

Simply click here and I’ll gladly give you access to our online recruiting bootcamp to get you started.


And if you found this content helpful, we would love to hear your comments via email or FB messenger!

Your Partners for a Life You Love!


Originally written by Ferny Ceballos. I, Joy Kelly, have written permission to adapt and revise the original article.



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